The Reunion  Christian's POV
by j3mm4nn
Summary: Chryed reunion scene, written 1st person from Christian's POV. Reuploaded. R&R!


1. Not sure about the title... It's a bit rubbish, I know! Lol. If anyone has a better suggestion then please let me know! :)

2. For Holly, for being so nice! :)

**The Reunion – Christian's POV.**

"We've been here too many times before."  
It was true. We had. I couldn't count on both hands the amount of times we'd be through this exact same scenario. Syed telling me that he'd give up his family, his faith, his life, to be with me. Give up everything so that we could be together. Up until now, I'd given in everytime he came grovelling back, but not this time. This time it has to be different, I can't go through it all again. I can't let him rip my heart into shreds again. It has only just started to repair itself.

Yet, here he is attempting to convince me this time will be different. That he's choosing me. Every part of me wants to listen to what he's got to say… is aching to hear his voice, but I resolve to stay strong.

"Don't"

"Christ-i-an"

I can feel myself physically melt inside. The way he says my name. It's been too long. My resolve is weakening, I can feel it, but I know that no matter what he says to me now, letting him in again will only result in more heartbreak.

"Don't say things you don't mean."

I know I have to do it, to save myself from pain later but it doesn't stop it hurting. Not that my words have any effect. He carries on, undeterred. His voice washes over me like a drug. I'd forgotten the effect he has on me.

"You think after everything we've been through I'm going to waste any more time saying something I don't mean?"

My heart soars with hope, even though I try my best not to let it. All I can see are his eyes, those calming pools of chocolate brown, which penetrate deep into my soul.

"You know what the easy thing would be?"

I tear my own eyes away, look at the floor, look at the sky. Look anywhere but at him. If I do, I know that I'll let myself fall, so effortlessly, into his arms once again and we both know where that leads us. To more lies, more sneaking around after dark. I can't do it to myself. I won't do it to myself. He carries on; I've not heard half the words. I don't let myself hear them, but there's something different about him. A sort of, determination in his voice, which I've never heard before; a determination in his stance, which I've never seen, I make myself listen. I'm just curious, that's all. Nothing more. It doesn't mean I'm slipping. It doesn't mean I'll give in.

"…and carry on. Isn't that what they say? Only I can't. I can't stand by while the rest of my family talk about destiny and good hips and stringy meat, like nothing's happening. Like I don't count."

Ok, whatever I expected to hear… _That _wasn't it.

"You know I haven't got the faintest idea what you're going on about?"

He's baffled me. For once in my life since this whole thing began, I can't even begin to decipher what he means. He's making no sense. If this is his way of trying to make me change my mind, then he certainly isn't doing a very good job. Granted, I may have missed a bit of his earlier speech but I doubt I missed anything that could possibly make _that_ make sense. He smiles at me and my heart melts.

"You don't have to."

I hear a laughter in his voice, a contentment. It's strange.

"The thing is, they tell me I can't be gay and a Muslim. Why not? Why do I have to choose?"  
I can feel the anger start to bubble inside, the resentment rise to the surface. Our entire relationship, if it can be even called that, has always centred around the fact that Syed is Muslim. His faith means the world to him. His faith says him being with me is wrong. His faith made him marry Amira. It's always been his faith, and underlying that, his family, that has ruled the way things turned out and now, here he is, asking me why he should choose? Well, if that's the case, surely he could have come to that conclusion long ago?

"You know why."

The resolve is well and firmly back up. Yet, what Syed is saying now, it's like he's changed his mind about everything. It makes me sit up and really listen.

"Look, I am the way I am because that's how Allah made me. Whatever faults I have, _he_ gave me. Now, I am proud of my faith and I am proud that Islam is about peace and tolerance and... celebrating, the things that make us different."

It still doesn't make sense to me. What he's saying is so different to what I've heard before. Whenever he's spoken about his faith all I ever hear is "it's haram", "it's against God's will", "God will always know…" Yet, now, he's acknowledging faults, he's mentioning differences. That little glimmer of hope has begun to glow again.

"But I need to be proud of who _I_ am. Only… I'm gonna need a little bit of help."

That's it, the glimmer of hope is a fully ignited fire. My heart has just left my chest and flown away; it's on cloud nine. The butterflies in my stomach have multiplied by a million. My head is still screaming at me to be wary. My head continues to ask what things will be like tomorrow, when Syed has had time to think but my heart? My heart is in the here and now. He's captured it again. It belongs to him. Even if it does get broken tomorrow, I can do nothing but live for today; there's a certainty in his words that's telling me that maybe, just maybe, this time tomorrow won't change anything. In this moment, there's only one thing I can, and will, say.

"I can do that."

A look passes across his face. A look of certainty. A look of finality.

"I'm gay and I'm Muslim."

It's the words of acceptance I've waited so long to hear and I never thought five words could ever mean so much to me. He falters. I try not to panic. His arm is reaching out. I can scarcely breathe. He touches my cheek and my breath catches in my throat. We're in the middle of Albert Square and Syed Masood, the love of my life, has his hand on my cheek. Any seeds of doubt appear to have been thrown out of the window. I lean towards his thumb and kiss it tenderly. This is all I have ever dreamt of and more.

"And I don't think you can go to Hell for having loved."

I stare, shocked. To hear those words from Syed are worth a million "I love you's." It's more than I ever dreamed possible. I look up. Damn! His parents. I'm dropped back to Earth with a bump. Syed notices the look of horror on my face and turns quickly. I can feel my heart; it's beating so fast I'm surprised it can't be heard. If there's ever a moment when Syed will change his mind, it's now. Yet, he just stands and stares as Masood pulls Zainab away. Now I know. He's finally, after all this time, chosen me. I know now what I have to do.

"Let's go home."

He turns back towards me, a look of disbelief, of hope in his eyes. I smile gently at him and as he smiles back I have to be sure. Turning around and walking towards my… our flat, I hope to the God I long ago dismissed that Syed will follow. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him turn and relief floods my heart. As we walk along, I feel a hand hesitantly reach out and touch my back. This is real. This is happening. We were meant to be. I sling my arm around his shoulders, as his arm reaches further around my side. I look at him and smile, as we walk towards our home I know this is the start of the rest of our lives.


End file.
